A New Year

New Year's is such an awesome time to me! I relish looking back over the past year, smiling at what has been accomplished and grimacing at mistakes that were made. 2009 was a difficult year for me and looking back on it isn't enjoyable. There was one bright highlight and that was Matthew being born!! Every cloud has a silver lining. 2010 means a clean slate. I find it fitting that January is a winter month, cold, crisp and refreshing. 2010 also promises to be a challenging year. I am required to retrain in my crew position and immediately return to instructor status with a possible upgrade to evaluator. I have to part with my newborn at daycare. I have to finish my degree and start my next one. However, I don't want to just work this year, I want to do somethings that I would just enjoy. I enjoy cooking though I rarely seem to have the time. This year I might tackle really learning how to cook. I'm not too sure yet how I will accomplish this yet. I may grab a cookbook and just start going trough all the recipes.

I also want to take a cake decorating class and perhaps a photography class. I know this seems like a lot, but that is what I like, a full plate!!

Book Reading for 2010

I fell way short of my 2009 goal to read 100 books! I only managed to read 30. However, pregnancy happened and I went back to college so, I had a couple things working against me. For 2010, I have decided to only shoot for 30 books! I will graduate from college in May and will hopefully start my nursing prerequisites shortly after. Since this is my first goal, reading for fun will have to be placed on the back burner. My long term goal (2 years from now) is to have been accepted to the AECP program for nursing through the Air Force. I have to complete a few nursing requirements but should be able to apply within a year to 18 months. I have about 5 books on my window sill waiting to be tackled, they are: 1) Culture of Corruption 2) Arguing with Idiots 3)Inkheart 4) Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding 5) Get Your Own Beer, I'm Watching the Game. WOW! right! Have you seen a more diverse group of books? I am almost complete with the breastfeeding book, and the last book in this group was bought for me by my husband so that I can understand the innerworkings of football (eye roll). I still promised to finish it. I still have some books on my 2009 list that I never got to read, they include: 1) A Grief Observed 2) The Screwtape Letters 3) Mere Christianity 4) Three Cups of Tea 5) Too Small to Ignore. As always, if any of you have recommendations, please send them my way or, if you have weread on Facebook, chuck a book at me! I love taking recommendations because it gets me to read books that I would not choose on my own. I have been able to read some fabulous books this year because I branched out and read what I would have never read on my own. For instance, my darling sister insisted I read Twilight. I would never on my own chosen a book about Vampires as I am not into that genre, however...I did enjoy them and am a convert...go team Edward...I also read a Dean Koontz book, also not my style. However, a guy from work recommended "Sieze the Night" and as I promised myself that I would read whatever was suggested, I completed it. Last of all, I took a recommendation from the Chief of Staff of the Air Force and read a Biography on Col Bud Day. It described his life in the Air Force to include 7 years in Hanoi Hilton. So, bring on the recommendations!!!

Christmas cookies

Last night Hannah, Rebekah and I tackled making Christmas cookies. I don't particularly care for sugar cookies but I found a peanut butter and ginger cookie recipe from Hershey's Holiday Recipes. We had a ball making the dough and rolling it out and cutting out the shapes. The cookies didn't turn out that great. They had a good taste but, they stuck to the cookie pan horribly, though directions said not to grease the pan. I also believe that rolling the dough to only an 1/8th of an inch was too thin. The cookies were very crisp, though not burnt. I think this recipe is worth a do-over. I will probably reduce the amount of flour used, and of course, grease the pan. Anyway, the fun part came afterwards when we decorated the cookies. All rules went out the window. Partaking in one of these cookies promises the onset of a diabetic coma.

Christmas Markets

One of the most awesome things about Europe is the Christmas markets. Filled with candy, bratwurst, schokolade, Gluwein, Christmas ornaments, and other things distinctly European, it is a charming afternoon excursion. This year we have visited the Aachen and Maastricht Christmas Markets. Unfortunately, we forgot our camera at the Aachen Christmas market, which I believe is one of the prettiest. We still plan to visit the market in Valkenburg, which is housed in a cave that was used over 50 years ago to hide Jews from the Nazis. Koln pronounced (Cologne)also has a fabulous Christmas market but is so packed with people, it is a difficult venture with 3 little ones. My Christmas decor has expanded to include Kathe Wohlfahrt's incredible collection of wooden smokers and wooden ornaments. In my opinion, if you looked whimsical up in the dictionary, you would see her face there. Here are a couple of pictures we have taken to share our Christmas with you.

Some Christmas Pictures

Breastfeeding Lessons

Matthew is 16 days old today and I am glad to say that he is healthy and has gained a pound since birth. The breastfeeding is going good as well. The past couple of days I have done research on breastfeeding. I wanted to know exactly what type of nutrition I need, how much exercise is ok, information on nursing bras, does pumping hinder your ability to breastfeed, etc. I won't regurgitate all the information I have found since I am still sifting through it and determining what is reliable and what is not. I also searched through the information that the hospital gave me(there were only a couple sheets that were English). However, I found one chart that I had never seen before and would have prevented me from giving up on breastfeeding with my last child at only 2 months. This chart breaks down the child's life by months. Month 1 -48. Months that are black (or stormy) are periods that baby will be going through intense growth spurts. These months you should expect that the baby will be excessively fussing and constantly want to be fed. I remember this distinctly with Rebekah and I thought that I simply wasn't able to provide enough breastmilk to keep her satisfied. I actually quit. If I would have been more knowledgable about when my baby would be going through growth spurts, I would have perservered through the stormy time. At least I know with Matthew more of what to expect.

I have found that I do alot of things differently with Matthew than I did with my first two. Most everyone has heard the saying that parents get more lax the more children they have. I would disagree, or perhaps shed a different light on the subject. When I had Hannah, I was focused on not allowing "bad habits" into our life so, she never slept with us, never was allowed to have a pacifier, I let her "cry it out" alot as well. Of course I checked to make sure she wasn't hungry or wet but I didn't allow her to cuddle with me just to cuddle. I don't know why. I was also more strict on her as a toddler. When Rebekah came along, I eased up because I realized that I had been unnecessarily strict on her. Now, that Matthew is here, I just spend everday enjoying him and not worrying if he has a pacifier or if he spends the right amount of time on his belly. We cuddle all the time, breastfeed when he wants to, and yes, he even sleeps with me. We both sleep better. I know I don't have it perfect but I am determined to fully enjoy every minute of this little one's life.

Ex- Ex- Exercise

Pregnancy is over and now the full reality of how out of shape I am has hit me. I understand that for the past 9 months I was making something wonderful and of course that takes a toll on your body, but I am also active duty and only have 5 more weeks before I have to squeeze myself into a flight suit. Six weeks after a normal, vaginal delivery are to be dedicated to resting and caring for yourself and your baby. However, I am not in a position where I can take that much time to rest. I am suppose to return to flying no later than the first of February. So, I must start now to loose weight. My other concern is that I must pass a physical fitness test within 6 months. In order for me to pass, I have to complete a 1.5 mile timed run in approximately 13 minutes. Complete 20+ push-ups in 1 minute, and 30+ sit-ups in one minute, plus pass the BMI and waist measurement. These are the minimums that must be completed to pass the test with a marginal grade. So, for those of you that enjoy exercise and have a program or idea that has worked for you, let me know. I will start walking today. It won't be very far since, I only delivered a week ago and I understand my body has to heal. Still, I need to utilize all the time I have. I need to loose approximately 25 pounds by the beginning of February.

Also, if any of you have any insights as to whether vigorous exercise can harm your ability to breastfeed, please let me know. I am also trying to find information (reliable) on this situation. I'll will be open and honest about my weightloss progress on here so that it will hold me accountable to following through.

A baby story

I have been a mother of three for six days now. I am loving every minute of it. Here is my labor story for anyone who would like to hear it.

I went to the hospital on the 24th, Tuesday, at 0800 to be induced. However, due to a tidal wave of pregnant women needing to deliver they had no room for me. They gave me a room on the gynecology floor until a labor and delivery room opened up. Rob and I sat there until 1030 when a room became available. We went to the labor room where I changed into my hospital gown and got in the bed. My midwife came in and introduced herself. To my relief, she spoke fluent English. She got my IV of Pitocin hooked up and told me that she would come back every 30 minutes to up the dosage. The contractions started almost immediately though I couldn't feel them. Rob and I chatted and shared a chocolate chip cookie while we waited. The nurse came in at the 30 minute mark and increased the Pitocin. I started to feel the contractions within 5 minutes but they were mild. By the end of that 30 minutes they were dying down. The midwife increased the Pitocin again and the contractions felt strong and were starting to come at regular intervals. At the two hour mark, the midwife came and was pleased with the rythym of contractions and decided to check me to see if I was dialating. The moment she started checking me, my water broke. It suprised her and made all of us laugh. My water has a tendency of breaking rather forcefully and it has caused a laughing matter at all three births. The midwife said I was still only dialated to a two. She didn't change the level of Pitocin since my water broke and she wanted to see if my body would go on its own. I remember rolling over, looking at Rob and saying, I don't think we will make our 4 hour goal for delivery. I didn't complete my sentence when I had a severe contraction. I looked at Rob and said, "Nevermind, I need help, go tell the midwife I want the epidural." Rob went to find the midwife and he walked back in and said, "She is with someone else and will be here in a minute." Meanwhile, the afternoon shift midwife came in and asked if I was ok. I had started to cry because I was in a significant amount of discomfort. She asked me if I was in pain and I said yes. Rob told her that the other midwife had checked me and my water had broken. We also told her that I was dialated to a two. She seemed confused when I told her that it had only been 25 minutes ago that this had happened. "Are you really in that much pain?" she asked. I wanted to be a smart alec and give a rude answer but, I was able to maintain a civil demeanor. She decided to check me again. I had dialated to a six. She told me gently that there simply wasn't going to be time for an epidural, but that she would help me have the baby.

I didn't want to believe her. I was scared to death to have a baby without the pain medicine. I also suffer with alot of pride and didn't want to make a fool of myself screaming. I did cry, I allowed myself that in between breathing. I was suprised at how much back pain there was. The midwife suggested that I sit on my knees and rest my weight on the headboard. This did help in shifting the pain from my back to my front. The midwife rubbed my back while Rob held my hand. I stayed in this position until I felt like I needed to push. I then turned back around started trying to push. It took a couple of tries before I gave a real push, because pushing is also painful. Finally, the baby was far enough down that I had an almost uncontrollable desire to push. Here the midwife and I started to disagree. She was telling me little pushes and I was ignoring her. She informed me that the baby's head was catching on a lip of skin and that she needed to give me a muscle relaxer so that I wouldn't rip. To be honest, I don't know if she gave me the relaxer or if I listened to her about slowing the pushing. I do remember feeling a burning sensation and then he was born. We beat our last delivery time by 30 minutes. 3 1/2 hours start to finish. I did scream twice while I was pushing. Not a fearful out of control scream, but more like a scream or yell you would hear in a gym when someone is trying to lift alot of weight. I didn't yell at anyone or get mean. I did end up ripping and needing 4 stitches. That was also uncomfortable since the doctor didn't wait until the anestesia kicked in before stitching. Oh well! Placenta was not to bad. The midwife was tugging on it which was a wierd sensation but, she did very little and it came out. That felt like a bad contraction.

Matthew was placed on my tummy and Rob got to cut the cord. They didn't use any eye ointment on Matthew, and vitamin K was given orally. I got to nurse Matthew almost immediately. They gave us about two hours alone before the midwife took him to clean him a bit and take his weight and such. I really liked that. With my other two, I felt like I was attacked by a herd of nurses and my babies and Rob were escorted out and I was left there babyless.

All in all, it was a good experience. I don't know if I would voluntarily deliver naturally if I got pregnant again but, there were several aspects that I did enjoy more than having the epidural. With the epidural they give you a drug prior, Demerol I believe, this makes you feel drunk. I was so loopy that I wasn't cognizant of what was going on. I participated in this birth alot more. I got to see him be born and I actually got to see the placenta and ask all the questions that I have always wanted to ask but was always to drugged up to ask. I also enjoyed being able to get up and move around during labor instead of being confined to the bed. Last of all, with the epidural I had to have a catheter in for several hours. This time, I didn't.

So, I have experienced delivery both ways. Both ways are equally exhausting. Both have their perks and disadvantages. I would never criticize anyone for choosing to deliver either way. I would encourage women that want to try to deliver naturally to give it a try. Fear, is the biggest set back for alot of people. I won't lie, it is painful but it is also manageable.

Last doctor's visit

Today I had another doctor visit and it was different. First of all, there was no lab work. The nurses hooked me up to the fetal monitor for half an hour but, the machine kept loosing the heart rate. I repositioned several times before I found a posititon that picked up a strong heart beat. I went to the waiting room and the doctor came in shortly after and threw his hands up in the air in a childish manner and said, "Mrs. Young, you still aren't having contractions!" I told him that I knew that but what could I do? He put his arm around me and walked me to his office and said, "Lets see if there is any progress with your cervix." Unfortunately, there had been no progress. I was bummed but, no big deal I wasn't due until next Friday. Still, my doctor seemed unhappy with this. He asked me how labor had progressed with my other two children. I told him that I had been induced with my previous two because my doctor was going on holiday. He just stood there and looked at me for like 10 seconds. I didn't know what to think and then he said, "We can try next week if you want to." So, I said sure. He asked me how I had been induced with the other two. He wanted to know if the doctor had given me a pill. I told him that I was given an IV of pitocin (sp?) and the doctor broke my water. He wanted to know how long it took for me to deliver. My response was 4 hours start to finish. So, he seemed happy. He then said that he was hoping I would go into labor this weekend so that he wouldn't have to induce me. This whole afternoon confused me. Dr. Kaschel has a strict policy about inducing. In fact, my friend who is 3 days past due hasn't been induced yet. I don't know why he decided to do so with me. Anyway, I'm happy!!

One on one time

Today was my first attempt at one on one time with one of my girls. I had to run to the commissary but the rest of the family didn't want to go. Rebekah, my 2yr old, was dying to go. So, I snatched the opportunity. She loves taking a ride so, we went to the commissary and picked up the groceries we needed. I let Rebekah pick out something to make for dessert since she loves to cook. I was willing to do something time-consuming with her but, she really wanted the pre-cut sugar cookies with the pictures in them. She picked out reindeer sugar cookies. Rebekah also got to pick whatever cereal she wanted for the week. We ended up with chocolate Lucky Charms soooo, we may modify that one next time. However, we arrived at home and she showed her cookies to daddy and sister and let them know she would be making them cookies after dinner. Times like these I see the character traits in Rebekah that I worry are lacking. She accompanied me to the kitchen and helped me put dishes away so that we could start cooking. She loves to help and has a servant heart. We had a wonderful time together which is priceless since she is often labeled the "difficult" child. Moments that we spend together laughing instead of at odds is rare and so treasured.

Another Dr. appointment

Today's doctors appointment was nothing exciting. I did the standard blood work and urine test followed by reclining on a couch while they monitored the baby's heartbeat for 30 minutes. After this was over, I got to see the doctor. He asked if I was having contractions and I told him I was. Apparently, they showed up on the printout of the heart monitor because he pointed them out. I got an ultrasound which is growing more and more uncomfortable. Matthew is so big now, you can't really tell what is what anymore. They measured his head, tummy, and femur. The doctor guesstimated that he weighed 7lbs. I had a pelvic exam next and he said that I had dialated more since my last appointment. He didn't tell me in Centimeters so, I'm not sure how many, I am assuming 2cm. So, more waiting. I have another appointment on Monday.

Tips on Being Thoughtful

This should be sooo easy. So why is my mind drawing a blank. One of my dares this week that I haven't completed yet is doing something thoughtful for my spouse. I did buy his favorite candy and left it around like the "Love in Action" blog suggested. That was a success. My husband landed from a flight and found a card and some candy in his car. He called immediately and was in such a different mood than when he usually lands from a flight. However, I did that before the dare came up so, I have to do another one. I want to accomplish it within the next couple of days. Any ideas?

Scrapbooking and card making

Just wanted to share a card I made for Michell Andrea Berrio Nieto. She is the precious little girl that I sponsor monthly through Compassion International. Michell lives in Colombia. I recently received my first letter from her and was so excited!! She is doing well and let me know that she has a new baby brother. She told me all her pertinent information like favorite color, food, best friend, etc. The girls and I always make her cards and send her stickers the first of the month. Letters take approximately 2 months to get there. They have to go through a translation process. Luckily, I have my own built in translator in my mother-in-law. I send her what I want to say and she translates it into spanish. Anyway, I digress...here is the card.

Working on a Marriage

Today I was reading day one of the Love Dare book. I have started this before and I didn't make it through. I could have but, it was sadly not a priority for me. However, having joined the "Love in Action" blog, it has reminded me daily that I need to keep my marriage a priority and that it takes effort to make it work. I can't wake up in the morning, get out of bed without speaking to my husband, get dressed and start getting the girls dressed. This sounds so silly but I so often do it. My alarm goes off in the morning and I often groan my way out of bed and don't even acknowledge my husband. Most of our morning is spent not talking due to me trying to get the girls up, dressed, and fed. Other than a quick bye, we don't talk in the morning. I can see how this rubs off on the rest of our day. I go to work, deal with the Air Force, pick up the girls, try to fix dinner and I am usually stressed by the time I get home. I have noticed that I am snappy with my husband when he asks me what I did that day. Rob (like his mother) asks lots of questions. I feel like I am coming home to an interrogation, he wants to know why I am so secretive. What a HUGE misunderstanding. He is curious about my day, and I take it as a cross-examination. So, todays Dare was not to say anything negative to my spouse. Actually, it was pretty easy. He was mission planning so most of our day was spent apart. Still, I succeeded! I won't blog about this everyday just on days that are significant!

Today's Doctor Appointment

Another appointment down, just a few more to go. I went to my doctor's office today and for the first time since I found out I was pregnant, I didn't have to do bloodwork. YAY! One of the things different about delivering in Germany is that they require lab work every single appointment. Having a urine test is normal but they also require blood work every appointment. However, this week was an exception, only a urine sample was required. I checked in and went and sat in the waiting room where I browsed through German magazines and sipped sparkling water, ugh. The nurse called me back and did weight and blood pressure then I had to lie down for 30 minutes while they monitor the baby's heart beat. This could be an enjoyable time except for the machine sounds more like a goose honking than it does a heartbeat. After this was over, I returned to the weighting room for about 10 minutes until Dr. Kaschel called me back. Here is another instance that is unique to my German experience with OB doctors. I go in the doctor's office and sit down and he asks questions and chats, very personable, nothing is rushed. I side-step a bit to tell you about my very first appointment. I met the doctor and he invited me into his office and proceeded to tell me why he liked being a doctor and why he liked delivering babies. This doctor I have also seen climb on a table and beat a printer that was jammed. As you see, this is not typical doctor behavior. For those that have babies, you know your first appointment usual entails a pelvic exam. Regardless of how many of these you have, they never become "second nature" or easy or something you don't dread. However, my first appointment when I got into position which, is a chair in germany not a table, he looked at me and asked, "Have you ever been to Mount Kilimanjaro?" Needless to say it was a good distraction. Anyway, I digress. He asked me how I was feeling, if I was tired, if I was having contractions, any bleeding, etc. Then he tells me to get ready for my pelvic exam. He has a closet-like space in his office that opens into the exam room. The closet space is for you to take your clothes off. Being use to dealing with Americans, whom Europeans say are rediculously modest, he provides a towel to wrap around your waste so that you don't have to parade out naked. Here is another difference between German and American OBs. You get a pelvic exam every single appointment. He told me today that my cervix was starting to open so make sure that I call him immediately if I should start with contractions since I am about 4 weeks from my due date. The only other difference in today's appointment is that I didn't get an ultrasound. Once again, unlike the US, we have ultrasounds every single appointment. All I can say is that German doctors are either very thorough or, they are gouging Tricare for everything they can. Anyway, that was my appointment today. Everything is good with the mild exception of already starting to dilate. His guesstimate is about 2 more weeks. We will see what it brings...maybe a baby!

Anticipation

As of this week I am 35 weeks pregnant and anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little boy, Matthew Thomas. This pregnancy from the beginning has been a little more difficult than my previous two.

I started out with placenta previa which was a scary time. I started bleeding around week 11 and of course was worried that I was gonna loose my baby. My doctor put me on bed rest for 1 month and the problem cleared within that time. Still, morning sickness was more severe with this little one than in the past. My second trimester passed by rather uneventful and I finally entered number three. I don't recall with my last two pregnancies being this uncomfortable or having such a difficult time sleeping. I often feel that Matthew is trying to stand up inside me and it is very uncomfortable. My appointments have gone pretty uneventful. Last month my doctor was worried because my cervix was already softening up quite a bit. My blood sugar level was high as well. He told me to lay off the sweets, and to take it easy. Well, I do work full time and have two girlies at home to care for so, taking it easy is difficult. He told me at the least to stop exercising until after delivery. I had been attending an awesome spin class twice a week for an hour. Anyway, I retook the glucose test and it came back fine this time.

So, now I await delivery! Even though this is my third delivery, I am still scared. I live in Germany now and though I have visited the hospital and memorized what I need to do once I go into labor, it still scares me that there is a language barrier. My doctor speaks excellent English but, doctors don't attend the delivery unless problems arise. I will be attended by a midwife, which does not speak English. I paid a visit to the maternity ward at the local hospital and I will admit that I was impressed. The rooms were all private and really big. They contained a bed, birthing chair, tub, and a series of ropes hanging from the ceiling. I'm unsure about the ropes but, the chair seemed like a perfect option. The rooms I noticed were very warm, like too warm. I asked the lady giving the hospital tour about the temperature and she told us that the rooms were kept exceptionally warm because they didn't want the baby to be shocked, temperature wise, when they were born. I guess my biggest concern is being in a severe amount of pain and not being able to relay to the nurse or midwife that I need help. So, for the three nice people that follow my blog, say a prayer for me here and there that God will grant me a safe delivery.

There are several things they do in Germany that they don't in the US and it worries me. First of all, they have no modesty at all. I was told that if I wanted to be covered during delivery, that I had to bring my own gown. The hospitals in Germany don't provide any form of gown. Secondly, they are anti-medication. A friend of mine underwent a hysterecomy here and they gave her no painkillers afterward. That bothers me as well. Last of all, I was told that they don't wash the baby the first day. They wipe them off to get the big stuff off but, once again, they don't want to put the baby through too much. These may sound like silly things to worry about, but I still do. I am very excited about meeting my baby. Nothing is as wonderful as hearing that first cry. Well, I guess I have rambled too much now, I had a bit on my mind. Thanks to those that read.

What can children NOT break!

Rebekah stomps down the hallway into her room, across the floor, and right on to a crayon. The crayon breaks under her little size 7 boots. Without glancing downward she stomps right on top of an open book, crushing several pages into a wrinkled mess. My first reaction is to shake her and ask her what she thinks she is doing, but I am so dumbfounded by the blatant disregard for her own property that I just stand there with my mouth open. When I finally get my wits about me, I tell her to get off her book, to pick it up off the floor,put it away, and the clean up the broken crayon. These are daily occurences at our house. It pains me to see that at such a young age my children already expect that they will get whatever they want and that if they should break something, there is no question about its being replaced. Where did I go wrong?

I believe my first mistake was buying them what they wanted because I wanted them to have it. It sounds easy to say no but, when your little ones sees something and lets out a squeal of excitement, you can't help but want to see the reaction again. TOY PURCHASED!

Secondly, I come to dread the tantrum that will ensue. Your child asks for a Barbie, horse, make-up, etc and you say no. The lip starts to quiver, then the foot stomps, along with a loud holler, scream, falling in the floor melt-down. Of course, everyone in the store comes to look at you, (I swear to see how you will handle it) while you try to pry your screaming banshee off the floor. Now, if I am simply browsing this is a quick fix, I leave the store. However, if I am grocery shopping and my kids want candy, or Dora cereal, or cookies and I say no, I have to deal with the screaming the rest of the isles. You can't beat your children in or out of public though the temptation arises. So, once again, ITEM PURCHASED.

Lastly, in my dire attempt to keep a clutter free house. I established a rule that with every toy that comes in, a toy has to go out. This seemed like a good idea until my daughter asked for a Dora house. I told her that she had a Barbie castle that she hardly plays with and that she doesn't need another house with loads of furniture. Her response was, "The Barbie castle is broken, we'll just give it to the poor children that don't have any toys." That was the last straw. We immediately sat down and had a talk about our possessions and what we do and do not give away. I told her that it was ok to give away toys that she doesn't use anymore but, they have to be nice, working toys that aren't beat-up, broken, missing pieces, colored on or stained.

The rest of the evening I pondered what I have been teaching my children. I strive for them to have the best toys, clothes, educational opportunities, and one day cars. Have I left something out. Perhaps how to demonstrate gratitude, respect and care for things we have been blessed with, sharing our wealth with those that are in need. This pondering led to more pondering. Have I started teaching them how to control themselves? Control their tempers, how to be gracious, how to build and maintain friendships, how we treat and talk to people? Astounded I sat down and decided that some things needed to change while they were still young enough to mold.

First of all, receiving gifts outside of special occasions will be a rarity. When any gift is received, it will be followed by a thank you card written or drawn by them.

Secondly, before we enter a store, I establish with them what we are going to buy and let them know that toys and candy are not an option so, do not ask.

Disregard of property will warant loosing the opportunity to play with that item for a pre-determined amount of time.

My mind still boggles when I think of all the other things that I need to teach them. Perhaps I will share as we tackle the issues. Parenting is so much fun but so much is like a chess game. You don't want to make a move too early, but if you wait too late, you loose the game.

A perfect life?

Well, my favorite time of year is here!! Autumn!! I love it, the cool air, the changing leaves and lots of walks through the farm fields of Germany. I love seeing the bright orange and red pumpkins that decorate the houses here and, the old, brick barns along the backroads piled full of pumpkins. In my perfect world I would wake early, spend time in prayer, prepare a scumptous breakfast for my family, ensure the radiators are pumping out enough heat and have my favorite candles filling the room with just the right ambiance. I would have plenty of time to scrub my kids faces and sticky hands before dressing them in matching outfits that I picked out and they love. We would be jovial as we packed in the car and drove to work/daycare singing our favorite songs. After the day was over I would bring my mini mees home to a dinner that I had thoughtfully planned and prepared the night before so that I can spend time with my children while it is cooking. My house would be emmaculate and decorated in all forms of fall decor. Which was tidily packed away until needed. The whole family would decorate together and we would all enjoy each others company. We would spend time reading books cuddled up in a blanket drinking hot chocolate or coffee! Home would be a tranquil place of rest and relaxation. I would get my children washed up and in the bed at an early hour so that I could spend time with my husband watching football or chatting about politics or plannning our future. Him and I would them retire to bed at a decent hour!!

HOWEVER,

I find that I live in a world where I struggle to rise by 0600 so that I have just enough time to get myself dressed, wake the girls up, argue about what they are willing to wear and try to convince them to eat a bowl of cereal or oatmeal while I pack lunches and gather homework. We get out of the house to the car, now arguing about who is going to get in first. No one can agree on music so, I turn it off. One child is trying to wipe boogers on the other and both are screaming because the other is trying to look out the others window. I drop off my munchkins at daycare with a peck on the cheek and quick bye. After work, I gather my herd and we start the drive home, which is usually peaceful. We pull into the drive and of course the girls only have eyes for dad! I follow them in the house where they have dropped bookbags, lunchboxes, and coats before they walked to their room. I'm already thinking about what I'm going to try to get going for dinner. The girls beg for a movie. Trying to be a good mother, I suggest reading a book or playing a game of hide-and-seek or coloring pictures. They try for about 10 minutes then they are arguing over the coloring book or crayons, so, wore-out, I put a movie in. The girls then veg out hanging upside down on the couch. I prepare dinner and call everyone to the table. This takes another 15 minutes to get everyone assembled. Hannah sits down and immediately points out everything she doesn't like. I insist she try everything and then it falls silent for about 10 minutes.

After dinner we start to clean kitchen, shower kids, get laundry started, try to clean one room in the house, attempt to do homework, read to the kids and get them in bed by 8:00pm. At this point, I'm too tired to think straight. I know that I should get dinner prepped for tomorrow night, and pick out the girls clothes tonight so that tomorrow morning will be smoother. I still see toys strown throughout the house, toothpaste stuck in the sink, dirty clothes....everywhere! Have I done devotions today??? I thought about it but did I actually do it? I shower, while my husband goes to lay down in bed. I come in read my Bible then fall asleep while praying. WAKE UP, did I blow the candles out? Fade back to sleep.

It is exhausting and it is hard most of the time but, it is still a good life!! We have lots of really good days mixed in. Days that I forgo homework, or forgo cleaning so that we can get in a game of chase, or go for one of those treasured walks. I do love my life...of course I do wonder how I will manage when number three gets here. Everyone tells me that that is when chaos enters the house! HA! Chaos entered mine a long time ago. I still burn my ambiance filling candles that I love, and with the help of a maid that comes every other week, I manage to keep the house under control. Rob usually packs all the lunches for the following day so that alleviates some work in the morning. I do my devotions and I pray in the shower so that I don't fall asleep. Bedtime is closer to 10:00pm or a little after. All in all, i wouldn't change my life for anything.

From the Mouth of Babes II

Hannah: "Mommy, do you want me to take the baby out of your stomach?"
Me: "I think we should let a doctor do that."
Hannah: " Well I have one of those things the doctor puts in his ears."

Heading to my bedroom behind Rebekah who was heading to her bedroom.
Rebekah: "Stop following me mommy."

After Rob answered a question that Hannah had asked me.
Hannah: "I wasn't talking to you dad, I was talking to mommy."

Hannah: "Do you know what you do when there is smoke on an airplane mommy?"
Me: "What do you do?"
Hannah: "You crawl on the floor til you get to the door."
Me: "where did you learn that?"
Hannah: "It was on the back of the picture on the airplane."

After swatting Rebekah's bottom for drawing on the couch.
"I don't like that mommy."

Compassion International

My newest heart throb. I have a close friend in the military that I have known for 4 years now. She has always been an advocate for Compassion International. I personally thought sponsoring a kid would be cool but never thought passed that. Then, a couple of Sundays ago, my friend spoke at our chapel concerning Compassion. She has been sponsoring a little girl for 5 years now and has even gone to the Philippines to visit her. I was so moved by her story that I went home and looked up Compassion online. It took a while to cifer through all the information and for me to find all the answers to my burning questions, like how much of my monthly pledge goes to the child? how do I know it is going to the child? can I correspond with the child? What is the child getting out of this? Am I the only one sponsoring this child? All of my questions were answered just as I had hoped and so I made the plunge of $38 a month to sponsor a child. I got to pick the child that I wanted. I sorted through all the children by who had been waiting for a sponsor the longest. This is indicated by a red heart on their picture. My little girl had been waiting for a sponsor for over 6 months. She lives is Columbia and she will turn 6 the 30th of July. Her name is Michell. Hannah was very drawn to the little girl as well, she actually did the picking. I have been so excited every day waiting for my sponsorship package to come in the mail with ALL of her information. So, what does $38 dollars a month buy her? Well, she gets one healthy meal a day, medical attention, a Bible in her language, which is Spanish, and additional help at school. I also write letters to her, and send her small paper things that fit in an 8.5 X 11in envelope. She gets stickers and coloring books and bandaids from me. My little girl lives in a house with a dirt floor and plastic roof. It is only her and her mommy. Mommy works for $80 a month. There is also a blog where all those that sponsor children get together and discuss our kids. I plan to be Michell's sponsor until she leaves the program at 18. So, now you know my new passion in life. Check out the website at your leisure.
www.compassion.com

Dealing with Fear

Fear is one of the most paralyzing things that influence a person's life. I have had my battle with this emotion off and on for the past 10 years. Fear of leaving home, fear of not passing tech school, fear of not being able to learn my new job, fear of getting married, fear of deploying to the desert, fear of being pregnant, fear of giving birth, fear of being deployed again, fear of SIDS, fear of my baby choking, fear of them falling, fear of them drowning, etc the cycle never stops. After much prayer I have started to win the battle again. Now, fear rears its ugly head again. A couple weeks ago I started bleeding, and for anyone 12 weeks pregnant that is a bad thing. I tried to maintain composure, tried not to fear what could be happening. I went to the doctor and happily found out that the baby was fine. However, my placenta was attaching itself to my cervix...bad. I was put on bed rest and told to take it easy or I would wind up in the hospital. So, I battled with fear again. I was scared of almost everything because the most simple thing like walking around the house would start the bleeding again. I did spend time in prayer and instead of God telling me that I would be healed, He opened my eyes to the opportunity that laid in front of me. I am able for almost 4 weeks to spend everyday with my girls. They don't have to go to preschool, they get to stay with me. We love it. We have breakfast together, do color pages together and then I watch them while they play. I've never had the opportunity to have this much uninterrupted time with them. I don't know what the future holds for our family, but right now I don't think about it. I enjoy the day I have with my girls and take advantage of loving them!

Life Happenings

This past Tuesday my husband re-enlisted for another 4 years in the military, this will take him to 19 years. WOW! In 6 years he will be eligible for retirement. YAY! I still have 10 years left, bummer. Anyway, here are a couple pictures of the re-enlistment. Rob was re-enlisted by LtCol Ricky Wyatt, his boss.

Pics are here!!

Ladies and gentlemen,

The pics are here of Grand Canaria! Despite a stomach virus that lasted several days, I had a wonderful time. The weater was in the high 70s so of course that meant, bathing suit weather!!

This first picture was taken in a touristy village about 15 minutes from our hotel. It was most beautiful and bordered the ocean.

This second picture was taken at the same village in front of the harbor! The water was amazing. Crystal clear, I hated myself for not having the forethought to bring a change of clothes. I would have jumped in sure as the world is round. Gorgeous!!

My third picture is of the water!! I couldn't leave you not knowing how beautiful water can be. Honestly, despite the rocks, wouldn't you want to jump in?

Ok, normally I don't go around grabbing people's rears. Unless of course it is my husband who I find irresistable at times, or my own if my wallowing in self-pity over my weight, or one of my two daughters. Usually then it's not a grab but a smack or a pinch if we're playing. I can't claim drunken debauchery either because it was 1000 in the morning. Anyway, the onlookers found it funny and despite the language barrier, they knew understood what I was doing and let loose with a hearty laugh. Would I do it again??? uh, yeah!

This is a picture of our crazy German driver, Peter. He is a fellow crew member who runs the radar on the AWACS. He has been stationed at Geilenkirchen for 24 years. Our trip started out rough as, like a lot of German males, he tried the intimidation when we met. If you know me, you know that doesn't work and it was abruptly thrown full force back in his face. By the end of the trip we got along jovily and agreed to fly again together.

Here is a picture of the a town from a couple miles away. We were starting our journey up into the mountains. Grand Canaria use to be an active volcano and is now extinct, hence the very rough terrain.

Here is proof that there are aliens among us. Actually, we found a spot where TOO much alcohol had been consumed. The ground was littered with broken bear bottles and shotgun shells. So, redneck doesn't only apply to the stereotyped backwoods American. But also to Spaniards!

Here is me being free! Yes, I did observe that my pants had come unzipped but, since I'm not showing anything of real importance I posted this pic anyway!!

Here is me posing on an overlook. It was about a 7 story drop from where I was sitting and though you can't tell in the picture, my hands were sweating and my feet hurt because I'm scared of heights!!

Here is the pool behind our hotel where we spent most of our free time. Very pretty! Yes, I do know the guy in the picture, he was too lazy to move.

Here is an interesting picture! Notice the huge crack in the rock?
Here is a sample of the local flora!! Very nice.

Grand Canarias

Lead on O' King Eternal, the Day of March has come!!!

Hello to everyone in the regular world today! I'm enjoying the beautiful Grand Canarias today! We are staying in a beautiful hotel right on the coast! Suprisingly, the island is lacking in beauty. Being nothing but an extinct volcano, the landscape leaves something to be desired. Grand Canarias is very mountainous in areas, and no trees, (except palm and bananas). Bananas is the only export of this small island and the major industry is tourism. The one exceptional beauty is the water. I swear, there is a undiscovered shade of blue here in the water. So, clear, yet so blue!! The beaches are black sand, instead of the revered white. Still, it brings its own charm, beauty that sprung out of destruction. You can visit the actual vocanic sight. A large crater sits in Las Palmas. It has already been overgrown with vegetation. Mostly shrubbery that you would picture in a desert environment. Sitting close to the equator, Grand Canarias has a stable climate of around 70 degrees F. It does vary, but even in Feb/Mar, I'm wearing shorts and a tank top comfortably.
So, aside from the island what have I done. The first night we (my crew) stayed out to 4am. Enjoying the ocean, the food and the some, (the alcohol). It's amazing on a crew like this the camraderie that ensues. We layed out on the beach and tried to identify constellations. Some went for a swim. I did not as, I don't particularly care for water.
Around 4am we headed back to the hotel. Where several crew members decided to strip down to their skivvies and jump in the pool. I was being harassed sorely for being a stick in the mud the whole night. I fear water so I try to stay away. However, a burly Canadian decided that I needed a swim. Now, don't worry, clothes were left in tact. However, in one swift motion I was over his shoulder and as he says, "politely escorted" into the water. I wasn't angry, I knew I had it coming. What I didn't expect was for the security guard coming up rather abruptly and watch as we all crawled out of the pool apologetically. He took room numbers and sent us on our way. I trying to be the smart alec gave him the room number to our crew's pilot. How he figured out that that wasn't my room number I don't know. The next day, however, I had a 75 euro miscellaneous charge on my room.
Yesterday we toured the entire island, lots of driving and pictures. Unfortunately, I left my camera USB cable at home so you will have to wait a week to see pictures!! Today, after I finish my way too expensive coffee, I'm going to the beach!! Enjoy one and all. I will post later. Please forgive all misspelled words and gramatical errors as I'm typing rather fast and will not be checking over it until later in the day!! Love to all that read this!

From the Mouth of Babes

Sayings from my daughters,

"Mom, there's sumthang wrong with my eye, (she holds her eye open) I think theres blood in it or maybe spiders." - Hannah

"Momma, I think my neck is trying to break" - Hannah

(After shutting her finger in her dresser drawer) "Momma, my finger hurts, I think my finger is gonna live" - Hannah

"Momma, I peed inda floor" - Rebekah

"My turn!" - Rebekah

"Momma, I got you a favor, some flowers for your Barbie" - Hannah

"You shouldn't poop in the floor Bekah, that's not nice" - Hannah

(After being told that I have a severe headache) "Aw, your head is hurts mommy, want me to get some cold water for your head," - Hannah

Travels - Bastogne

The first of our travels that I will talk about is our trip to Bastogne. We ventured here a couple of months ago on a freezing cold morning! We arrived when it was still dark out and made our way to the crowd of people. Bastogne is known for the imfamous "Battle of the Bulge" and was also made famous by the series, "Band of Brothers." We were lucky enough to have one of the actual Band of Brothers join us on this walk of remembrance. Our family did the short tour of only 5K. Though only 3.1 miles or so it was bitterly cold and snowing. Along the way, re-enactments of how the troops lived, and the clothes that they had or (didn't have) to keep warm were demonstrated. IT was said that many sleepless nights were spent in these areas due to the bitter cold causing the resin in the trees to freeze and subsequently, the tree would explode. This sounded much like gun fire.

Halfway through we had a stop for hot chocolate, this was a welcome treat for the girls who were suffering from painful fingers and toes. Here I must put in a bit of praise for my two daughters. They made it though 1.5 miles of crowded cold before the cold got to be too much for them. Rebekah was in the stroller and despite having a heavy coat, two pairs of pants, gloves and a blanket wrapped around her, she was frozen stiff. Hannah walked a good part of the way and after the hot chocolate treat, she was wore out and had to be carried on daddy's back. After the long walk was over we ventured into the small town of Bastogne and stopped at a local Baguetterie to warm up and procure some type of nourishment. The girls had about 45 minutes to thaw out and their spirits rose as did the reddness did in their cheeks. After our quick stop we toured the town.

All throughout the day we continued to see the re-enactment players driving around the time blending in the rest of the populous as if they had always been there and always lived that way.

In the next picture you will see that a cool picture I took totally by accident. We were about to cross the road when a soldier drove by and looked at me, I simply lifted my camera and snapped a picture of him. Suprisingly the picture turned out ok, especially considering I was still in landscrape mode!!

Last of all is the excursion to the actual memorial. This was the most memorable of all. It was simply breath-taking and had spiral staircases that you could climb up to the roof and you could see over all of Belgium, for miles! It was the most beautiful sight I saw in all of Belgium! Next year we intend to return to that the 20K hike. Hopefully, a babysitter will be available so that we can continue without torturing our daughters.

Pressing toward 100

2009 brings about new stretches for me!! I will push the envelope on my ability to juggle work, family, and free time. This year I will strive to read 100 books!! Can you believe that 100! That's like two a week or 1 every 3.65 days. The Bible doesn't count as 66 books, (I did ask). I decided to undertake this challenge at the insistence of my younger sister, who is a book worm in every way. I love her dearly and therefore decided to accept her challenge. PLEASE! PLEASE! feel free to offer suggestions on books to read and send some my way that you can part with temporarily! As this could get expensive. LA LA!