My husband and I recently discussed how our oldest daughter, who has always been so docile, has recently turned into a tyrant. Hannah whines constantly and has meltdowns on regular occasions. We have both been at a loss for what was wrong or how to handle it. This morning I got my monthly email from Babycenter, informing me of what to expect from my almost 5 year old. The article was titled, "I don't like that mommy". It caught my attention immediately because those are the exact words that Hannah says to me on a daily basis now. According to babycenter, my child now experiences the full range of emotions and doesn't know how to handle them. Unlike a newborn who doesn't know yet how to be happy, or sad, or angry, or bitter, Hannah is now experiencing all these feelings. Children going through this stage react in different ways, some children throw temper tantrums, some whine and cry, some have meltdowns. Babycenter claimed that the worse thing to do was to fuss at our daughter, which we have been doing, for this behavior. Instead, they recommend teaching them how to gain control over the emotion. Another interesting aspect was children can be put on edge very easily. Babycenter stated that something as simple as seeing a picture of a scary monster could put a child on edge. Later in the day, the child may have a meltdown over, mommy telling him no, or not getting what he wants for dinner. I found this interesting because I am currently reading James Dobson's "bringing up boys", it stated that the reason children shouldn't watch violent movies or scary movies is because they cannot differentiate between reality and fantasy. This was eye opening for me. I always screened what they watched based on nudity, language, violence, etc. Now, I understand that even Walt Disney movies that have scary monsters can be a problem. I will definitely reconsider what I allow my children to watch.
Yesterday, Rob left for Ramstein AFB in K-town, Germany. He will be attending a school there for the next 6 weeks. Hannah has asked continually when he is coming back and if we can go visit. I repeated our plans to go visit him week after next. However, this was not sufficient and she proceeded into a meltdown. She started crying uncontrollably. I sent her to her room until I figured out what I was going to do about the situation. During that time, Rob called. Rebekah talked to him while I went to tell Hannah that her dad was on the phone. However, she was still crying and refused to talk to him or me. I carried her down the hall and sat her on the couch. I then told Rob what was going on and told him that I wanted to try to put him on speaker phone and let him talk to her and see if she would eventually respond. I put him on speaker phone because Hannah refused to hold the phone. It took about 5 minutes of Rob talking before she would respond to anything he said. The conversation was starting to go good and she asked Rob if she could come visit. Rob told her next weekend she could come visit. Well, the meltdown started again. She pushed the phone away, buried her head and cried.
I finished up my conversation with Rob and I went and sat beside Hannah on the couch. I put my arm around her and explained that she was sad. I asked her if her heart hurt. She said yes, because she couldn't see her daddy. I told her that is was ok to be sad and that my heart hurts too when daddy leaves. I then suggested we eat dinner, take a bubble bath, and have some hot chocolate. This seemed to pacify her. To my suprise, she ate all her dinner. Hannah and Rebekah took a bubble bath and are currently drinking their hot chocolate and coloring a picture for daddy. We decided to help stop the hurting heart, we would do something for daddy every day until we see him again. Then we would give him a basket of everything we had gotten for him. Today we are coloring pictures, tomorrow Hannah said that she wanted to get him a magazine to read. Hopefully, we make it through the next 6 weeks without any major hang-ups!
- I'm an outside girl that loves horseback riding, hiking, camping,or anything that involves the great outdoors. I from VA though I currently live in Selfkant-Havert, Germany. I drink excessive amounts of coffee. My imagination often runs away with me usually to an awesome horse farm that is self-sustaining where I teach girls how to mesh being athletic, tough, and leadership quality without loosing that gentle and quiet spirit. According to Suellen from "Gone With the Wind," "You can always tell a lady by her hands." I believe there is some truth to that statement. A lady should be strong and capable of caring for her family, gentle enough to quiet tiny tears, ferocious enough to scare away monsters lurking on the bed, and capable of hosting the next ball. I really love having fun doing things on the adventurous side, and the more dangerous the better. I also enjoy drawing and writing some. I absolutely LOVE Traveling and am drawn magnetically to other countries and adventures!!